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147 Unwanted Images
(Winona)
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It's the early hours of the morning, and the last of our friends have finally left. Jayden and | have had more
alcohol tonight than we've had in a long time, and the buzz was nice for a change but not something | want to
repeat anytsoon. | know I'll be feeling crap when | wake up.
Anne is sleeping over with Bobby and Sarah in the guest quarters and Abby has collapsed into bed-after her first
late night in forever. The whole part was perfect. We've planned a night at our usual club for a catch-up and
sfun next weekend, but right now, all | can think about is the way Jayden is looking at me.
He scoop
sending shivers down my spine. We tumble onto the bed, and his hands are everywhere, igniting a fire inside
me. We've been flirting all day and it's been amazing. To just be open about the desire we share is a relief but
the fact that we haven't been together since | fell pregnant with Abby, is anything but relief.
In fact, we've both been keyed up as anything today.
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But as he trails his kisses down my neck and | groan in need, an unwanted image forces its way into my mind-
Jayden and Ashlyn together, their bodies entwined.
| try to push the thought away, to focus on the man I love, but it's like a dark cloud hanging over us. The more |
try to ignore it, the more it consumes me. | screw my eyes shut tight and focus on how his touch makesfeel.
| will myself to enjoy this moment we've both waited so long for.
Jayden pulls back, his brow furrowed. "What's wrong? You're all tensed up. Am | doing something wrong?"
| swallow hard, trying to find the right words. We've been in a good place lately. I'm sure he'll understand. No
more lies. We promised. "I just... | can't stop thinking about you and Ashlyn," | whisper.
His expression darkens, anger flashing in his eyes as he stands up. "Seriously, Winona? We're trying to move on
from the past."
"I know," | say, my voice trembling. "But it's hard. The last person you were with was her. | keep seeing you two
together, and it makesfeel... | don't know, insecure. You made love to her. She was pregnant with your
child."
Jayden sits on the bed beside me, but | see his hands clenched into fists. "I believed I loved her, Winona. You and
| had agreed it was for the best for the sake of the kids. To have two solid family units. You know | would have
been with you if you hadn't made that choice."
"I thought it was for the best, yes, what we both wanted. But the whole tyou were tellingwe should be
together, you were going hto her and having sex."
"She was very forward, trying to get herself pregnant. Then afterwards. It was hard to resist. | needed to try and
make the best of the choices we made and have a normal relationship. But that's in the past. I'm
147 Unwanted images.
with you now. Forever."
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"I realize that," | say, sitting up as well. "But | need more time. It's not something | can just switch off."
He scoffs, his anger rising. "Maybe you just prefer Phillip. I'm sure he's the consummate lover. Maybe you're
jealous of Lisa's relationship with him. Maybe he has a bigger dick than me. | don't know, | can't work you out
lately."
"I wouldn't know," | yell at him.
"Wouldn't know what?" he yells back.
"About Phillip's dick size."
Jayden stares at me. "Why?"
"I've never had sex with Phillip."
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"What? In all those years? You were engaged. You lived together posing as the perfect couple..."
"We've never had sex." I'm angry that he thinks it would be so easy forto jump into bed with someone else.
"Is that so hard to believe? Unlike you, | don't need sexual gratification to prove anything to myself." "You told
that | could do what | needed to do to make you happy. You wanted Phillip, you got Phillip."
"That's not it at all," | snapped. "It's not about Phillip or anyone else. It's aboutneeding more tto work
through all of this."
"I'm giving you time, Winona. Or | thought | had. Downstairs earlier you were in agreement. Now you're saying
you need more time. It's damn confusing. Phillip must have been beyond frustrated that night | cback in
there..."
"Don't!" | scream at him. "Don't you dare suggest that what Phillip did tothat night is because of anything |
did or didn't do!" I'm almost blind with rage.
"I'm sorry. That wasn't called for." He places his arm around my shoulder. "Winona, con. | love you more
than the whole world. You know that."
This is how it goes; he says something horrid, and then he's so sorry. Judy's description of abuse echoes in my
mind.
"You just always have to be tit for tat. You need to grow up emotionally," I tell him.
Jayden jumps up off the bed and his face contorted with rage. "Maybe you need to take responsibility for your
own state of mind. Go get professional help or something. You're acting crazy." Today's Bonus Offer
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